Epiphany on Water Boarding

I was sitting at the boob tube watching news and I had an incredible epiphany: The reason President Obama now says water boarding is torture, oh, sheesh, I am so excited I can’t put two words together - it make so much sense...made me laugh out loud as I came out of my seat! One big Ha!

You see, globally, if water boarding is torture and water boarding’s merely a hazing plus a little, then we (He), couldn’t possibly want to hurt (hurt?) civilians on purpose, in a war. After all, our new philosophy says. "... pushing someone’s head under water or dribbling it on them twice a month under a doctor’s supervision, EVEN IF THE SECURITY OF THE UNITED STATES IS AT STAKE, is unconscionable " - so how could anyone think we could do something like hurt (hurt?) civilians even if they were harboring terrorist? Even if we have to?

Do you see the genius? Gosh, almighty. Sheer genius! It's teflon. Nothing sticks. Total exoneration. Except for the guy in the jet who dropped the bomb on his command. He gets all the sticky.

(As mentioned elsewhere, it is likely more journalist have been water boarded than enemy combatants. It is also known that more U.S. Servicemen have been water boarded in defense of their country than “enemy combatants”.)

So what’s going on on the farm? Nothing. It’s hot. And dry and we had to empty all the fountains because the bees inundated us as all the natural water sources are gone. And they tried to come down two chimneys because of the cool air inside and we can't buy a decent dampener as California has regulations against the old ones that kept bees out. And the whiny contractor would lose his license - according to the permit for the dampener - if he fixed the old ones.

But everything’s OK because of the bailout. Even if we had to start fires in two fireplaces to keep the bees out - on a 90 degree afternoon. We had to burn wood chips off the front yard because who the hell has wood for May? And it was a pretty big emergency. You simply cannot make things like this up. It's life. Any farmer will tell you so.

North of us, Santa Barbara is burning down (no, really, it's burning), the day temps in Santa Barbara hit over a hundred degrees and broke an old record made a long time ago. That record was 86 degrees. This new record isn't one or two degrees like most records get broke, folks, its 14 (that's fourteen) degrees more. Now if that’s not change, I don’t know what is. :) And if you try to pass this off on Bush, just keep reminding yourself that Americans have been the world's (as in globally, as in "on the face of that blue marble hanging in space") largest consumer of the earth's precious natural resources for many, many, MANY decades and they still can't get enough cheap "Made in China" or Hecho en Mexico. Or cell phones. Hey, don't kill the messenger, I'm a friendly guy! Go yell at:

http://atlas.aaas.org/index.php?part=2